What's the biggest challenge of being a mother?
I asked myself the question. It's almost been a year since my son was born and I became his primary caretaker. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my son very much that the moon is not far enough to describe how much love I have for him. But mothers are not praised, loved, and adored for a reason, they earned it for the journey of raising a child is nothing but challenging. It is, however - based on my own experience -, the most worthy journey of all.
Back to the question. I would say "to always keep my emotion in check". My husband once said, "don't get angry when you're upset, and don't be upset when you get angry". Meaning that, getting angry to my son should be something that I do in clear-headed and its sole purpose is to teach him a lesson instead of merely lash out my emotion. It is, surely, easier said than done.
I am practically with my son all the time. I am with him from the moment he wakes up until he closes his eyes at night. I bring him to the office, meetings, grocery store, even hanging-out with friends! Sure I left him at my mother's if I have some errands where his presence is not possible for a few times, but they're rare occasions.
He is with me almost always, in every candid moment. He is with me when I got good news and, unfortunately, bad news. And it's not always easy to protect him from my moodswing. I don't always remember to give myself a second or two before lashing out (little lash out, though, like a small scream of "aaaaaargggghhh!!"). I don't always aware that my bad mood affects the way I interact with him.
So, I find myself taking a deep breath more often this year. Not only because the mess that my son makes, but, more often, because the ones that other people, including me, do.
